Sorry for the delay

Sorry I have had some major life issues come into play and have been unable tp write a consistant blog, that does not mean I do not have anything in the works, I have 2 posts I am working on. One of them I went undercover and reviewed a club for a friend wbo was thinking of auditioning over the4e....So sorry but will have something for you all to read soon

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Pics of a beautiful Tucson sunset outside my home.

Funny Fan Mail!

     So I recieved my first real piece of fan mail. I was not looking forward to going into work but I just moved in with an old co-worker of mine at the end of the year kinda spur of the moment and I was under alot of stress to come up with ALL my rent and utilities in one night. [I ended up making most of what I needed but not all...DONATIONS ARE ACCEPTED BY THE WAY-email me for details ;-) haha ] Anyway, after checking in to work I was feeling more nervous than usual due to the amount of money I needed to make in very small time constraints. I opened up my GMail and saw that one of my readers had e-mailed me about his thoughts on my blog. This guy totally brightened my spirits and boosted my self-confidence which enabled me to put a considerable dent into my rent and utilities.

     So "encouraging blog-reader", Thank you so much for brightening my mood and appreciating my rantings. It does feel good to get a written response to my writing. I see all the page statistics and insights about the page views but getting a personal e-mail praising and encouraging my blog made me remember why I keep writing and I felt appreciated.
     So I'm posting his e-mail because his little story he included in his letter made me laugh. It is fun to picture him not paying attention to his poker hand because he is enraptured by my writing. XD. Even in my writing I am doing my job right...being distracting.

"Hi Sydni--

I just wanted to let you know I think your blog is AMAZING! I came across it while playing a game of poker at Aria here in Vegas. The other regulars saw that I was paying more attention to my ipad than the game.

'What are you reading over there?'

Me: 'This... blog. The author is a stripper and her stories are so engaging.'

'Well, obviously -- since the action's on you.'

Me: 'Oh!' (I look up to peek at my cards clumsily, then fold)

I'm up to the beginning of 2013, and trying to slow down so I can ration the fun a little longer. Just promise you'll keep up the awesome blogging! You're fantastic. :)"

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Funny thought with my roommate/ex-coworker Pookie

     My friend, "Pookie," who also was my co-worker about four months ago recently became roommates rather suddenly due to her generous nature during a very unexpected tumultuous time for me. I will be forever greatful for her helping me though some tormentful times. These were times of pain, addiction, anxiety, and also victory and happiness, fleeting as it was.
     Anyway the reason for this post was this. Somehow we got to the conversation where Pookie blurted out........

"What would you do if your customer farted in the middle of your lapdance?"

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Great quote from Sassylapdancer

"I’ve always found taking my clothes off for a living and enjoying porn at home to be empowering rather than degrading.  It has heightened my awareness and knowledge of myself as a sexually independent woman.  It’s encouraged openness and communication in my relationships.  Observing other women – at work and on the screen, showed me that our bodies come in all shapes and sizes, that private bits can look funny, that bodies are noisy, sweaty and not airbrushed as they are in women’s beauty magazines." -@sassylapdancer http://www.londonlapdancer.com/?p=571

There is no "I" in TEAM

There is no "I" in TEAM

Cooperation, rapport, leadership and raising morale, these are not actions or attributes you would usually think important to a dancer in the club....Believe it or not, working in the Adult Entertainment Industry is a team sport, not an individual one.

     One subject I seem to broach with many girls at work is the fact that if we encouraged one another and worked together more is the fact that we would ALL make more money. This is a very competitive industry I know. However, we do not need to be overly territorial, or become a bully in order to make money. In fact, the more difficult a girl makes her relationships with her fellow dancers (or any co-worker), the harder her work environment shall treat her. You will find it easier and more profitable if you are being encouraging to others (even when it is dead), gaining rapport with your co-workers and establishing a positive leadership role amongst the dancers; therefore proving to those around you that you are positive and uplifting, encouraging them to stay positive and reinforcing the belief that they are powerful and beautiful will reestablish that thought about yourself as well. And this will help all of you make money and make your club thrive.

     Now I will list a couple of quotes from a text I read back in my Public Speaking course in High School. It is "How to Win Friends and Influence People", by Dale Carnegie. I came across it again recently and in the very beginning of the book found ideas I could relate with in practically all forms of business.

    

"Dealing with other people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer. Research done a few years ago under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a fact later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute of Technology. Those investigations revealed that even in such technical lines as engineering about 15% of one's financial success is due to one's technological knowledge and about 85% is due to skill in human engineering - to personality and the ability to lead people." ₁

"...A total of probably more than fifteen-hundred engineers have passed through my classes. They came to me because they had finally realised, after years of experience that the highest paid personnel in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering.

     "One can, for example, hire more technical ability in engineering, or architecture or any other profession at nominal salaries. But the person who has technological knowledge plus the ability to express ideas to assume leadership and to arouse enthusiasm among people - that person is headed for higher earning potential." ₂

     These quotes display simply that merely a technical prowess in one's craft is not enough to be fully successful. Just because you can do the splits or do an amazing lap-dance however, does not mean your audience will be dazzled and mindlessly hand over all their money. Without the very important inter-personal skills necessary you could lose a lot of your earning potential from multiple clients. Such examples are; if you are being over-territorial of them and their time or are rude and "catty" to co-workers. Most of the time, an "Adult Entertainer's" job is to communicate with the client and coax out of them (sometimes not so subtle) hints in order to find out what his/her needs and wants are. This requires superlative vocal and physical communication skills as well as a very good understanding of the clients' psychology (whether they be male or female), all the while retaining a special subtlety, and executing it gracefully, appearing demure and almost casual, despite a clubs' sometimes intimidating intimate setting. Sometimes clients are blunt about what they want and why they are there, most people are in the end way too shy to vocalize exactly what they want, if we can satisfy that or not.

     Communication is not only important to have with a customer but it is very important with other dancers and the echelon of numerous other kinds of co-workers in this profession because you will eventually have to deal with them in a professional situation, whether it be tipping out to your new manager, being nice and considerate to the bartender who mixed your drink wrong or the bouncer who decided to lead you towards the big spenders asking for you in V.I.P. The small window in how you carry yourself and treat your co-workers and others shall make a lasting impression that is very hard to correct if you left a bad lasting impression. How you treat others in the workplace is also a hint on how you perceive yourself and how you expect to be treated. I always say that I am not there to make friends, but that won't stop me from being friendly. I constantly remind myself of how scared I was my first day and though in reality every new girl adds a little competition to the game, making the chances harder on everyone, many girls helped me and showed me the ropes. After I was dancing only two months, my manager Brad had me train TWO girls so fresh they were green! I asked him when I was so new why he chose me to train new girls, he replied:

     "You are nice and friendly....and you know Daisy."

     This meant since Daisy is making me her protégé, he is confident I will train both of them to be well-rounded dancers and being told all the necessary rules. I started to feel pride, in myself, my new-found abilities, my girls and my club. Brad allowed me to take ownership of something and in doing so, I unknowingly accepted a leadership position among the girls and this gave me a sense of accomplishment, finally having paid my "dues" after a few years I am now well respected and liked by co-workers throughout the club because of my friendly, helpful and outgoing personality. I love it when a few years later I hear girls boast outside how Sydni taught her how to do a certain trick.

     Now when it comes to Dancers and "territory" it definitely depends on if you have a prior relationship with the girl(s) in question. You have to understand that girls will have their regulars and that is to be respected. The customer ALWAYS has the final decision, and is allowed to favorite more than one dancer. It is always up to the customer. It is not like you are dating (unless you are LOL) and will have to learn to share clients. If this client has a usual girl who is present and he is showing significant interest in you, tipping, making small talk while passing by, etc. Go ask the girl if she minds you spending time with her regular, instead of just plopping down on his lap or nearby chair simply because he tipped you. It is just good manners not to interrupt people when they are in deep conversation or in an "intimate" conversation (i.e. Dance). Now perhaps if you and the other girl happen to be on fairly good terms, perhaps she will give you special insight of what this customer is like and this information could greatly increase your tips. Maybe this particular client does not buy dances but will buy you drinks and could be a fun distraction for you and a couple of girls during a slow stint. Besides if you do not attempt to at least be friendly, what happens when a customer wants a Double-dance from you and another girl. (Take it from me, it can be extremely awkward when doing a double with your ex-girlfriend in V.I.P.)

     The interactions between dancers are always seen and/or talked about by other employees and occasionally customers. Now emoting or "dumping" on a trusted co-worker or girlfriend is one thing, but do not go around talking shit to other customers about a dancer who "custie-hawked" you, stole your flat-iron or god-forbid do what I did, dated. Once, when Daisy and I had broken up, she told the customers that were interested in me that I was trouble and not to get dances off of me just to spite me and make work difficult. This made guys more interested and backfired. This is usually the thing men do NOT come to the strip club for and that is gossip and drama. It makes you look petty and superficial and so ruins the reputation and rapport you were just beginning with a particular client. Also, girls hear everything. You make some criticism of a girl and it will go around the club, get back to you and the rumor now sounds ten times blown out of proportion. They also do not like being fought over like territory, it reinforces the feeling you only want them for their money. Instead of instigating drama try to encourage each other, especially when it is slow. Yell and holler and support each other onstage, urging customers to go up and tip. In the locker room we have this Positive Reinforcement mantra we do.

     "We're ALL gonna make an ASS-LOAD of money tonight!" The out loud positive reinforcement helps us all be productive.

     Flirt with each other, new girls coming to our club see right away that we are more encouraging and less catty than in other clubs. Brand new girls to the "Industry" are relieved to have helpful and encouraging "sisters" in this scary and new experience in their lives. There are always a few girls who feel so intimidated by new competition and unknown ability that once they are over being new themselves and they feel established in the clubs' hierarchy they become bullies to the newer girls, stealing their purses, phones or other belongings thus in turn affecting their work attitudes and attempt to intimidate them to quit. I recall I auditioned at a rival club when one of my exes was doing her first ever audition. I auditioned with her so she would not be alone. We were the only white girls and the only ones dancing to rock instead of R&B or Hip-hop. The club was predominantly black and Hispanic in clientele and employees. The clients liked my pole tricks and it only took an hour for me to earn $100. One of these "Bullies" intimidated by my skills decided to shoulder-check me while I scanned the club from the bar. It sometimes does not take too much to begin a girls' downward spiral of her mood. It could be personal problems at home, a customer jips her, large (or small) sums of money stolen but once a girl is in a really bad mood it is extremely difficult to pull oneself out of it. It affects their demeanor and willingness to hustle plunging them into a feeling of helplessness and insecurity which predatory dancers will feed on and customers will avoid. This can slowly alter the atmosphere of the club. If many girls are feeling depressed and sluggish because there are few to no customers, girls start "lazy dancing" or instead of initiating conversations with the few customers they spend their time smoking or sitting amongst themselves, and unfortunately complaining. If the customers do not feel engaged by the girls, they will refuse to tip and ultimately leave and when most guys enter an empty club they get the immediate impression that the club will be boring, especially when there is not a variety of dancers, they will get quickly bored with the repeating rotation. Having a stable and wide variety of girls is necessary in order for the club and therefore the girls to be a success.

     Hopefully now I have illustrated Dale Carnegie's point in that learning how to communicate effectively with people and interact with them is much more of a needed skill in almost any position, more so maybe than technical mastery. Also, a club is made up of multiple dancers. Yes we are all "Independent Contractors", but the club needs a variety of us in order for the business to run effectively and profitably.

You could be drop dead gorgeous.....but still be a Bitch and won't make a dime because no one wants to be around you.

 Dale Carnegie. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Simon and Schuster. New York. 1937. Pg. 3, 4

 Sydni.stripper@gmail.com

@sydni_stripper

http://confessionsofalesbianstripper.blogspot.com

 Confessions of a Lesbian Stripper©

The DARE Program....for Strippers

     First of all you are all allowed to spank me. I have been a bad blogger and have failed to do consitent posts. I could bore you all with excuses but I won't, instead I'll publish a post for you. 
        There have been a few instances recently at my club where co-workers of mine I consider at least closer than the rest are beginning to concern myself and the club with how their habits are affecting their attitude and performance at work. Now let me definately begin by saying I have definately had my fair share of various addiction problems in my life whether it be legally acceptable in my personal life and tolerated at the club (i.e. Alcohol) or be illegal. So I am not a completely innocent party here. In fact, my third day working at the club I was sent home for being too drunk. "Mashed potatoes" was the way Andrew my manager described me as he helped a sleepy Sydni off of the lap of a Davis Monthan Air Force Base pilot's lap. I still blame the pilot, I didn't know what "Irish car bombs" were. (Possibly the word "bomb" in the name should have been a clue.) I also want to include in this part of my post that alcoholism and drug addiction are serious problems and though I may joke around on here, they are not a laughing matter. I do not condone using alcohol or illegal drugs on the job as obviously it will impair your judgement and could lead you to make some very dangerous decisions, such as going home with a customer and getting robbed or worse, physically hurt and/or raped. Being obviously under the influence will make you a vulnerable target to predatory customers, it doesn't matter how aware you think you are about your surroundings and the people around you, there are always people looking for an oppurtunity to take advantage of you or someone else. Don't become a target. If you or someone you know is endangering themselves and their employment with substance abuse, I strongly urge you to get yourself or the person you know help immediately. There are plenty of hotlines and resources available to get help yourself help, or to educate yourself on how to help your friend. Serious stuff aside for now, let us get to some stories.
     What prompted me to do this post is that some of my friends I or either some co-worker noticed and discussed together how their behavior has changed recently and definately in one case, my friend, "Kayla", had gotten her permanently terminated from the club. Now with Kayla I had noticed a somewhat gradual descent, one decision leading to another, steadily making a series of events leading up to her termination. Now Kayla lived very close to me and was one of the few girls I'd socialize with outside of work. This year she was there alot for me after I went through a very nasty breakup with this girl Tyler. She was a customer I became smitten with and got her a job as a waitress, we began dating and even lived together for a short time. Then I found out she was cheating on me with one of the bouncers. She quit, couldn't handle constant flirtation from the clientele (which was humourous since even her friends describe her as a slut) and had frequent emotional breakdowns and the bouncer got fired for pocketing money from selling old VIP bracelets. Anyway I was struggling getting over Tyler's betrayal and Kayla was emotionally there for me. We would party outside of work together, sharing a box of White Zinfandel wine and a bottle of vodka while grilling some steaks on Sunday afternoon was normal for us. She did well for kIherself, worked alot, she did have a "sugar-daddy" that helped her financially with her daughter but she hadn't gotten into the escorting business....yet. She had this on again, off again boyfriend that was insecure about Kayla's and my strictly platonic relationship. (Though of course we flirted WE'RE STRIPPERS!) On more than one alcohol-fueled weekend, the two would fight, never physically but both were loud arguers while I awkwardly sat on the couch and tried to ignore how awkward I felt by chasing shots of vodka with my Pepsi. Well after many attempts she finally ended it after she befriended a more subdued likeness of him who was a customer we both knew named "Bear". Eventually her habits started to expand, now moving past pot and alcohol to cocaine. She began coming to work less and less and then compensating for the lack of income and needing to feed her growing cocaine habit by escorting. Well I found out a few days ago that last week while I was out with the flu that she was fired for being drunk and hopped up on coke, she became argumentative with the managers to the point where the owner's son, a head manager told Fred, the other manager that she was never allowed in his club again. She and I had our friendship slowly wane way before this incident.
     Now I'm going to address a habit in the club that is becoming more and more the norm. Many of the girls have picked up the habit of smoking or more commonly snorting percs. This practice has gotten so serious that they installed a camera in the locker room that sees heat signatures. Therefore, this camera would see the repetitive on/off click of a lighter indicating someone was smoking something up there. This installment has not made it stop. I had just gotten offstage and went to the bathroom to touch up my make-up. There were two girls in the stall and one of them comes out to wash her hands. Right then Fred and a bouncer come into the bathroom and ask to search our purses because a girl who was in there and left before I walked in complained of smelling someone smoking drugs. The girl at the sink with me is searched first, her purse reveals tin-foil and a straw but luckily for her no drugs. The paraphernalia was confiscated and she was allowed to work. I was searched next revealing nothing. The last girl, obviously guilty and a little shaken asked to talk to Fred alone. She later revealed to me their conversation as I explained to her it may make good blog material. I was able to convince her to tell me by assuring her identity would be a secret. She revealed to me she wanted to be honest with Fred but feared what retribution she may recieve from the girls if I, the other girl or the bouncer saw what was in her purse. She confided she had a syringe, heroin and a spoon in her purse. Since she was honest and forthcoming with Fred in the privacy of the office he let her dispose of the drugs and narcotic paraphernalia in the office wastebasket and let her return to work under the promise she'd never bring anything like that on the premises again. Honesty paid off in this girls situation, but this leniancy was only made because she has been employed there for at least as long as me (3 years) and had few to no instances during her employment. Honesty wouldn't have paid off so well for someone with a more tainted history. For example a friend of mine from before my stripper days, someone I used to use drugs with became employed at my club. She told me she was sent home because a girl smelled drugs and the manager brought my friend in to question her. She broke down and cried but her employment status is still unclear. I told her new girls are a dime a dozen and promises mean little to nothing when the managers have no history of you to draw on. They will not endanger their employment as well as the rest of the people that work there if we happened to get raided and we took a chance on someone with no rapport and we all were punished for it. Raids are a reality.
     This illustration of how drugs impair your thought process is so humourous I had to include it. I took a chance on this girl a friend of mine introduced me to and he convinced me to try to get this girl hired. She was hired and after a few days being employed there came in to work before I did. She came during the night shift and at this time the doorman inspects ALL of the girls' purses and bags for contraban. (drugs and weapons) I, myself carry a knife and pepper spray to and from work for protection. The doorman will hold my weapons for me at the front until I check out. Well "Ashley" gave her bag to the doorman to check, Fred was also lingering in the front, Fred was the one who relayed this story to me since he thought it was hilarious. What does the doorman pull out of a little make-up bag in her purse? A fucking crack pipe! The funniest thing is what she says to defend herself. "That's Sydni's bag," she tries to tell Fred and the doorman. Fred has known me for a long time and knew what drug I struggled with before being employed at Ten's and it wasn't crack. He couldn't contain his laughter as he told her to go home and come back the following day.
     Drugs are not the only problem. Alcohol can be problematic for some. I struggled in the beginning because I was new to the Industry and scared shitless. I also sufferred from really low self-esteem and usually hid my feminine side rather than embracing it. I had been there maybe 8 months when a me and a friend of mine learned about trusting our alcohol (or any drink) with a client we thought we trusted. We both were rufied and driven home by the client and found out days later compromising photographs were taken of both of us while we were unconscious. I later found the customer, had his phone wiped clean and he was 86'd for life. Never leave your drink, alcoholic or not with anyone, even if you think you know them. You can end up robbed, assaulted or raped. My friend and I were extremely lucky photographs were the only things taken that night. Your reputation at the club could be ruined at the very least, and your reputation means ALOT. A girl or customer could take advantage of a moment in your impaired state and steal your purse and/or phone. I've had that happen more than once. I'm sure I'll post a blog on this subject again since I see so many examples of bad behavior but for now you get the idea. Drugs are bad, m'kay?

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